As some of you may know, I had my 15 seconds ( or maybe it was 0.15 seconds) of fame on a Man vs. Food episode last year (see the Atlanta - Vortex episode). Though my appearance there was impressive and it took many months of planning to get on the show (actually we just coincidentally showed up that night), lets now turn our attention to Elias and his first adventures with food.
In the beginning was the Milk, and the Milk was with Elias, and the Milk was Elias. Elias was with Milk in the beginning. Through Elias all Milk was processed, without Milk nothing was drank that has been drank. In the Milk was cream, and that cream produced a chubby baby. That chubby baby has come into size three diapers.
There came a solid food who was sent from Jar, his name was Peas. He came to witness to the goodness of Milk, so that through him all diaper explosions would occur. He himself was not Milk; he only came as a witness of what is beyond Milk. The true Milk that gives cream to all baby's was not in the Jar.
